


Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me...

by wovi_vuori



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I'm horrible at tagging, Isolation, M/M, Sadness, Self-Hatred, Validation, Yaoi, attempted suicide, ereri, first aot fanfic ever, riren - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 11:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5414687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wovi_vuori/pseuds/wovi_vuori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren had always been a strong individual, able to take whatever was thrown at him and chuck it back. But that had always been when Armin and Mikasa were there beside him, and before he had discovered his Titan-shifting abilities. Now with his new 'home' being filled with nothing but hateful words and whispered threats towards him from the people he couldn't escape, Eren is finding his resolve rapidly crumbling as he loses sight of being anything more than the heartless monster everyone accuses him of being. What does Levi think when the teen suddenly goes missing? Could he possibly help Eren see that he isn't just a wreckless monster? Or will he be too late to help at all?</p>
<p>((My first stab at Attack on Titan, and it's pretty generic I guess but I wrote it in a haste...so read at your own risk I suppose x~x))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, just a quick note here: this is my first ever AOT fanfiction, and I know that this story is generic and probably lacking but I wrote it during my short breaks at work while I had the inspiration to write ya know? If you do read this, please be kind with any comments or criticisms. I'm currently watching the series for the first time, so most of my character knowledge and basis come from all of you lovely writers on here actually, with all of your wonderful stories. I hope this isn't too bad, and I hope to soon be a good contributor to the AOT fandom on here. Thank you for reading <3

A monster. That's what Eren Yeager had become accustomed too anymore. He couldn't even walk down the halls of the dark, cold castle without hearing someone saying something about him anymore. He used to think of himself as a strong person. The teen used to think that words could only do so much, but now with almost all of the Survey Corps giving him looks mixed with fear and almost fury at his presence, and all those demoralizing things that were carelessly slung his way he was beginning to see and feel otherwise. It didn't help in the least that he was utterly alone in the castle, despite almost always being in the presence of at least one person; most of the time his new Captain, Levi. He had no friendly faces to confide in, and though Hanji treated him better than the majority by far, Eren knew that it was a borderline obsession with Titans that made her want to keep in him in good spirits. 

He didn't matter as a person anymore. Eren Yeager wasn't a person anymore. He was a thing, a monster, a tool or weapon to be used and easily disposed of without second thought. The teal-eyed boy was constantly reminded of this with the almost withering presence of Levi; the one person that the higher-ups trusted to be able to kill him in a seconds notice, without a second thought. Eren knew he could certainly do it too, as he had seen the shorter man in action a couple of times now firsthand and Levi seemed to be keeping himself coolly separate from the teen who had grown up idolizing him.

Despite the cool indifference shown towards him, Eren liked being around Levi best. The battle-worn man treated him like he were any other charge under his watch, and that simple thing, as benign as it may seem to anyone else, was worth all the efforts Eren could give him in return. He didn't want to disappoint his captain, so he always worked diligently even when the man wasn't watching him. Eren was above all appreciative at Levi's insistence that he be trained as a regular soldier, and took on the job personally. On days that Eren wasn't doing tests with Hanji (also under the watchful eye of Levi) he was physically training under Levi's instruction, and took all his criticisms in stride. The results were good, and he beamed when the man had pointed this out to him. It wasn't often, never really, that the fifteen-year-old heard anything positive about himself outside of Hanji praising his titan abilities, and it had lifted his spirits for a bit. One compliment could only go so far though, and soon Eren was back in his slump, fighting off a settling depression that only seemed to get twice as worse with each scathing comment he got or heard. 

The tall boy had been walking down the hall quietly, trying desperately to keep to himself and not be noticed by anyone, when he heard voices up ahead just around the corner of the stone walls. The torches danced merrily giving an ominous glow to the slightly narrow passages, which did nothing but seemingly exasperate the depression within. With a quiet, slightly annoyed, sigh, Eren began to turn to walk back the way he came when the mention of his name brought him to a stop.

'I shouldn't listen..I know what they will say, I should just go...' He thought while still standing dead still in the eerie glow. It seemed that though he knew he would be better off leaving before hearing more horrific things about himself, he just couldn't bring himself to move. Almost as if on some subconscious level he felt he deserved all the verbal abuse thrown at him. 'I do..' He thought woefully before listening in. 

"That fucking monster traipsing the castle...Captain Levi has been letting him have a bit more length on his leash but I don't trust him." The first voice continued, and it's whispered quality gave no indication of who was speaking, though Eren could tell at least that it was a male speaking. His heart was sinking more as he continued listening.

"Right? I can't even get a full nights sleep now knowing that thing is sleeping in the same building. What if he goes berserk while we're all asleep? I mean, they might have hopes but the kid isn't really in control of himself, is he?" His teal eyes glanced down at the floor, brimming with oncoming tears. Had this been a couple of months ago Eren would have scoffed in indignation at what was being said, but now it was different. Now it was practically engraved into his mind that he was a monster; dangerous and disturbed. 

"No. Have you seen him in Hanji's stupid experiments? He's as stupid as a rock when he's a titan, doesn't know what he's doing or where he is. Just has that look of utter rage in his eyes and always looks like he's about to destroy the whole damn castle. As if that wasn't bad enough, now we have to worry about the damn Military Police ambushing us as well." The first person spoke again, and the other gasped softly.

"The Military Police? But why?"

"Weren't you paying any attention?! They want Yeager for themselves. Want to dissect him and I don't see why not. They're furious that Levi convinced the higher-ups to give him sole custody of the thing. That's why we had to relocate, to give them the slip, but Erwin and Levi are always on the lookout for anything suspicious. Don't think I've ever seen either of them so sleep-deprived or stressed and it's all because of fucking Yeager." The first man explained and Eren felt as if his heart had dropped to the floor. He was causing all of this distress. He was the reason Commander Erwin and Captain Levi were so stressed, and apparently not getting any sleep either. 

The guilt added on heavily to his depression, and without even realizing it he was walking away down the gloomily lit hall back the way he came. He managed to push out of the doors without notice since everyone else was just now getting to the mess hall for dinner, and made his way to the stalls almost in a daze. His mind was a swirling storm of emotions and thoughts that were passing by so quickly he couldn't distinguish one from the next, but they all held the same weight of self-loathing and pain. He made quick work of grabbing some newly repaired 3DMG gear and suiting up in it before his unsteady hands found a length of rope. This he lassoed neatly into a manageable state and managed to clip into one of his many belts before turning and walking back out of the stall.

He had the aid of nightfall now, and he was grateful for it as he could begin to hear the muffled shouts of people within the castle walls. Undoubtedly they had noticed that the monster hadn't shown up for dinner, and so he knew that a search would begin once they found his dim cell of a room empty as well. He propelled himself into the surrounding forest with practiced ease and maneuvered through the trees almost aimlessly. His tears were streaking out of the corner of his eyes in unrestrained sobs as he came to a landing on a sturdy branch that was at least twenty-five feet off the ground. He wasn't sure how far away he was from base, or how much time he had. All he knew was though his tears continued to stream down his tanned cheeks, a sense of calm came over his entire being as he set to work on undoing the rope and fashioning it into a noose. He would be relieving a lot of people, they would be thankful, ecstatic even that he was gone. Erwin and Levi would be able to sleep at last and though he knew that the job would always bring them stress, at least his death would lessen a great deal of it. 

"There will be one less 'shitty brat' to deal with anyways." Eren grumbled, his voice nasally from his crying as well as the cold night air that wasn't doing him any favors at the moment either. He allowed himself a moment to think about Levi while securing the other end of the rope around the branch, carefully keeping his balance thanks to all his 3DMG training. What would Levi say when he found out? Would he be happy? Or would he complain that all of his time was now a wasted effort? The teen hoped, somewhere deep within his anguished soul, that Levi would miss him. Levi was the only one who treated him like a human after all, and Eren was no fool. He knew that Levi treating him humanely was perhaps the main driving force behind his pathetic, ill-hidden crush that he had developed on the pale man. A new set of sobs seemed to take over at the thought of how his captain would surely look at him in disgust if he knew how the boy truly felt. It would probably lead the shorter man to start treating Eren the same as all the others did, leaving Hanji as the only person who didn't scoff at him and speak to him as if he were stupid and couldn't understand the rude things they were saying.

It was perhaps this thought, this notion, that truly put the nail in the coffin for Eren Yeager. He swung his long legs over the side of the branch and then rather carelessly fitted the noose around his slender neck. His arms stiffened up beside him as he placed his hands on the branch, testing his angle for the push, when the rustling of leaves and the tell-tale sound of a whirring line became apparent. He didn't let it register though until the small figure of Levi flew into view, startling Eren in surprise and causing him to lose his balance.

The teen fell from the branch, and time seemed to slow down almost to a stop as silver eyes quickly registered everything: the fall, the rope, the knot on the branch and most importantly the noose around Yeager's neck. Levi's pale face lost even more color as he propelled himself forward, drawing one of his blades without even thinking, without even yelling out at his subordinate as he quickly closed the distance between them. The experienced soldier managed to snatch Eren in mid air with his left arm while slicing the rope with his right just moments before it was too late. Had it been even two more seconds...The thought made the man feel nauseas as he came to an abrupt landing and settled Eren down at the base of another tree.

Green eyes had barely seen all the movements that Levi had made to save his life. Levi's catch of him had efficiently knocked the breath out of him and he was gasping like a fish out of water by the time they landed before coughing while his captain kneeled before him. He didn't think he had ever been this embarrassed in his entire life as stormy silver eyes stared down upon him and smaller hands came to rest upon his trembling shoulders.

"Eren, what the hell were you thinking just now?!" Levi almost shouted at the boy while squeezing his shoulders hard in his grasp. "What in the world would possess you to do something so stupid!" His displeasure was obvious and not quite what Eren had expected, but he found himself spitting back in a mix of anger and hurt,

"Why does it matter, Captain? I'm nothing but a fucking monster anyways, right?? Doing nothing but causing stress for Commander Erwin and yourself, as well as everyone else in that godforsaken castle!" He could feel the wave of heat wash through him with his emotions as his fists clench by his sides, "Do you know what those people say about me? What they say to my face when you and the Commander aren't around? They have no trouble telling me I'm a heartless monster. They have no conflicts over telling me that I'm to blame for all the deaths so far since I've joined and that I'm the most worthless investment they've ever seen. Every. Single. One. For two months. And you know what?" Eren continued after a shuddering breath that was punctuated by a new set of tears when Levi didn't try to stop him, or tell him anything comforting, "They're right....I am just a stupid, soulless, monster who is better off dead. Who could ever care for a monster? What possible good future could I have even as 'Humanities Greatest Hope'? Everyone would be happier, you wouldn't have to babysit me anymore so you would be happi-" 

It was then that Levi moved, shaking Eren fiercely enough to knock his head back against the tree and making him wince. 

"Don't speak of things you don't know, brat!" He scathed, with a scowl that was mixed with something the younger man couldn't quite read, "How do you know I would be happier with you gone? Did I not put my career on the line to save your damned life, Yeager?!" Levi was staring at Eren with intensity, but when the boy sniffled and looked down to break eye contact and hide his embarrassing tears his demeanor changed. Perhaps he should give up a little pride? It certainly seemed like a good idea with the mess of a boy in front of him at the moment. How long had Eren been planning this, and how many more times would he attempt to take his life at this rate? The captain would certainly be having words with Erwin as well as his squad come morning, but right now he needed to give Eren something to live for. Something that was more immediate, as the greatness of finally bringing success to humanity as their greatest hope was still a long ways away, and it was easy to lose sight of. 

A sigh passed his thin lips as he moved his hands from the Eren's shoulders and conceded by pulling him into an awkward embrace. Teal eyes widened and if his face wasn't now resting in the crook of Levi's neck, Eren would have been looking for some sort of answer in the man's look. The teen's body was tense, unsure of what to make of this move until the captain spoke once more.

"You know, I won't even consider looking at someone who gives up so easily; let alone date them, brat." Levi said in a sure tone, making sure that it left no room for second-guessing. The man wasn't heartless after all, and had found himself instantly drawn to Yeager by his fiery determination and his rage. That, at least, was how it had started out, but now a couple months later he knew that something monumental would have to happen to keep himself from liking the boy more and more, "As much as you may think otherwise, there are people who care about you and your well-being beyond your titan abilities. I certainly do, and I care of your mental state as well. You have no idea the pure dread and fear that came over me seeing you drop from that branch like an idiot." Very smooth, but of course he knew if he made everything to sappy that Eren would think it a front, an act to make him feel better. It seemed to be working as he felt the body in his arms begin to relax though the brunette was still trembling slightly with what he could only assume were emotions.

"R-Really, Captain?" His voice was a nasally whisper, but it sounded like Eren was beginning to calm down as well.

"Yes, really. And you can...You can just call me Levi when we're alone, but don't think for a moment that I'll be going any easier on you with training or cleaning or anything else. Your dusting is still abysmal." Levi had ended on a mutter and was surprised, comforted even, when Eren chuckled softly in his arms making puffs of hot air tickle his pale throat. 

"Thank you, Ca- uhm, Levi." He said softly, now feeling lethargic in that warm, comforting embrace. The rarest of smiles, or at least an upturn of the corner of his lips, made it's way over that porcelain face before Levi leaned back to look down at his charge. He took in the red, puffy eyes that were stilled rimmed with evidence of his hysteria earlier, his flushed cheeks, and finally those silver eyes landed on slightly parted lips. Eren was staring back at him raptly as he moved in and gently pressed their lips together in a soft kiss that held so much more meaning behind it. It was Eren's first kiss, but his lips moved instinctively with Levi's and he gasped softly when teeth nipped on his bottom lip before pulling away.

"Stay with me. Don't you ever try to leave me like that again, shitty brat." Levi reprimanded him in a soft whisper before pulling him in again for couple more minutes. Perhaps if it wasn't so cold outside, they would have stayed out longer. But even while sharing body warmth they were both beginning to feel the cold, and could hear the shouts of their comrades in the distance. "Let's go." The older man said before slowly pulling away to stand, leaving a rather reluctant Eren on the ground.

Eren didn't want to go. What if things went back to the way they were when they returned? What if Levi just acted like none of this was ever said or happened? But his captain quelled his worries when he grabbed his hand and pulled him up to his feet, and didn't let go. The brunette's cheeks flushed anew as Levi led them away, hand in hand, leaving the rope, and their former turmoils, behind them for now.


End file.
